slacker

I didn't really realize the effect that Justin has on my life until he left. He's been gone for 4 days now, and I can honestly say, I feel a little bit lost without him. I've been so lazy since he's been gone. Without Justin around there is no one calling me on my mothering skills. It's common for me to hear Justin say "well you're the mom, so you do it", when I ask him to do too much for me, or "You're the mom, so it's your job to play with me" if I'm not spending enough time with him. Well now that he's not here, I'm getting away with a lot more. Dawson doesn't care so much what I do during the day, as long as his needs are met. (having his diaper changed, being fed plenty of snacks, and having free reign of the house, including Justin's room.) I have to say that it's been so much quieter without the arguing between Justin and Dawson (and between me and Justin!) Now as I reread this, it sounds like it should be a nice vacation for me having Justin gone, and it has been at times, but I actually feel unmotivated and unsure of how to spend my time! It's weird for me to realize that Justin is a huge motivating presence in my life. He challenges me, and that makes me grow. Without him here, I've been wasting a lot of time. I'm still in my pj's and it's almost noon, the house is a mess, and I don't think I've done laundry since he left! Thank goodness he gets home this afternoon or it could get really chaotic around here! I'm so thankful for the unique personalities each of my boys have. I'm thankful for Justin for challenging me and helping me to be a better person. I'm thankful for Dawson for letting me relax a little and just be silly when I get tired of trying to be supermom. I'm thankful for Chase for just being so darn cute and loveable, and most of all I'm thankful for a wonderful husband who does all of those 3 things for me, and more importantly who puts up with all of my craziness, and loves me in spite of it!